Starting out monday with a blast..or a bang, but moreso a lack thereof

NIU ALERT...psh

On sunday evening it was brought to my attention that there's had been a threatening racial slurred message posted on the wall of a bathroom in grant d(where I live...in actuality it was on the floor below me) that said something along the lines of I'm going to teach those SLURR'ers how to shut up or something along those lines. I was informed of this 'threat' a few minutes yelling at a group of people of a different ethnicity( oh being P.C. its fun and tedious) because they feel it necessary to yell things to one another when they're 2ft away. MARIAH,......MAAAAAARIAGHHHH!!!

Unless you're yelling to mariah carey to get her attention right before you clock her in the face I see NO need for yelling someones name at such ridiculously high decibles.

back to the "threat" I then finished my drawing that I'd been working on for 8 hours and went to the room checked niu's website there it was the official alert, yeah I laughed...and buy laughed I meant aloud then read it to people. because honestly the cop who figured out DIE SEMM BURR and HMZ STD CNTR meant december and holmes student center should be working for the FBI with that code cracking ability he should be able to find BinLadin in NO TIME. Oddly enough like 20yrs ago that might have actually been code. . .hey there's got to be one special ed terrorist out there, stealing peoples pudding pops and pissing on the toilet seats. Few hours after I heard of the threat there was another online update that classes/finals on monday were being rescheduled. Luckily I was on my third soda bottle of wine, because I don't keep glasses in my room and boxed wine should either be drank straight from the bag or something else just as trashy. So I was less upset that would normally be and had to compose a fantastic email to my mon teacher telling him why I needed to turn in my assignment on tuesday not friday (because I wanna go home) that being done I officially had nothing to do but scare girls into thinking they were going to be shot...and that I did. It was ievitably too easy though scaring people who are already scared isn't as satisfying as say: writing a letter in the bathroom stall of ur dorm and getting classes on mon cancelled. but I don't think thats why the person did it or not even to get their floor to shut up, because if people were being loud on the floor I would think most people would handle it the same way I do and yell at them and threaten to throw their baby (yes someone has a kid) down the stairwell which is somehow less threatening because I was vocalized and not written down anonymously.

I think the note poster writer, and possibly even the responder who managed to slip in a VAtech reference to further 'scare' but there's a slight chance that the anonymous note person is a GENIUS! who had a final on monday they were unprepared for. I mean as long as they don't trace the handwriting back to that person its a brilliant plan! NIU once being alerted is immediately responsible for anything that happens on campus, so they either cancel classes or have students being afraid to go to class and writing in alternative ways to do their finals, either way win win. Grant d 6th floor note poster you're a tricky one aren't you all riddled with angst and some ol fashion racism with a modern day school shooting twist, i salute you and hope that the prison bathroom you get raped in is as nice as the one you wrote on.

moral of the story. Bathroom grafitti is an artform, I just wish I would remember to carry a sharpie around more then next time I want to poo in a public place

Goin to be a pro eugogalatizer

Now we put to rest our fallen friend fad and family member the tomagatchi. You led such an inspiring life from hatching to growing into an amorphic blob to a slighly more human form to plant thingy and so on. It never seems right when "god" calls back one so young, you lived only 14 hours and yet in that time we grew so close, I fed you bathed you, pushed that button that had the weights on it and repeated until boredom set in. I then put you to sleep and lost you between the couch cusions for a couple of weeks. Oh Tom(as you were so cleverly named) your absence will leave a giant hole in my heart, that is until I find a paper clip that I can use to press the reset button and get a new egg like thingy. Why did "god" have to press the reset button on you so young? and what were you trying to tell me with your archaic symbols? I never did understand you and now you're gone


here we put to rest the beloved Pen15 club, you were a great club at first with your original 15 founding members(ha, unintentional pun) Dick, Harry, Rod, Peter, the chinese student Wang, Willy, and the rest. Those first few men were trail blazers spreading their message around the globe on wrists walls and specifically bathroom stalls. I know many a women who will mourn the loss of the Pen15. and if not for some very unusual copyright missunderstandings with the Pen Island company you would probably still be alive today

Blogging Floats my boat

yeah these are some pictures of my girlfriend I took her to get some glamor shots for her birthday one year

ooooh Maggie this is for you because I feel this picture should be spread throughout the world, I think I'm actually going to put it on some dating sites: basically anyone I can get into for free. If I get brave enough don't think you won't get put on a gay dating site as a tranny, because 11/12/13yr old(however old, still too old) maggie makes a B-E-A-utiful dragqueen. so look forward to that, and don't worry I'll make sure the responses get sent to your e-mail and we can discuss your future husband prospects. I'm really excited to see how many of them are floaters